funny farm Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 I am looking for a job and thought this might help others also , kind of a cheat sheet for job listings . Job Descriptions COMPETITIVE SALARY - We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM - We have no time to train you. CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE - We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED - You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day. SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED - Some time each night and some time each weekend. DUTIES WILL VARY - Anyone in the office can boss you around. MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL - We have no quality control. CAREER-MINDED - Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). APPLY IN PERSON - If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE - We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality. SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE - You'll need it to replace three people who just left. PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST - You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS - You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celticav Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Nice break down FFT, the sad thing is your right! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nathan Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Thats the truth!!..Nathan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alsworms Posted April 24, 2003 Report Share Posted April 24, 2003 Hey.....I believe I used to work there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skeeter Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 I still work there Al. Skeeter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alsworms Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 I hear ya Skeeter. After 12 years of service, I finally realized I was headed nowhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mylures Posted April 25, 2003 Report Share Posted April 25, 2003 I hear all of you guys and it is the truth. After 35 years I finally told them the way it is. Take this job and shove it. I just hated going to work and getting stabbed in the back. I would drink a cup of coffee and it would run right back out from all the back stabbing. Now I just have a partime job working for myself and I am happy. That is all that matters. If someone gets in my face I can tell them to get lost. Life is awesome. Get up, work if I feel up to it. Think about fishing (its to cold yet). Make a few lures or do some woodworking. Think about fishing. Take a break. Think about fishing. Take a nap. Think about fishing. Paint a few lures. Think about fishing. Take a walk down to the lake. Think about fishning. Clearcoat a few lures. Think about fishing. How am I doing guys?? Did I mention that I think about fishing alot????? Just look at the bright side, you have alot to look forward to yet and don't forget to think about fishing or just get out there and fish. Good luck fishing. Ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
